I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You're earring is so big in my mouth
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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