I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
