clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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