so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
