new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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