I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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