He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
