Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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