After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
