You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
