So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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