One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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