those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
