i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
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Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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