nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
The Olympian is in my bed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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