terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
