I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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