I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This is my gift to your gina
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize