yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
