It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize