I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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