Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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