When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
