yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize