So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
