So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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