listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize