brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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