so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
handjob tips. give me some.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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