eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
