Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
