Swine flu. Run for my life!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
