HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
