Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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