I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
