dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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