We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm bleeding and have questions
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
