she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
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come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
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You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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