how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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