yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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