I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
