...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
