you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
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My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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