If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
