I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
