so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
