And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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