Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize