oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
