If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize