What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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