the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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