I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
