"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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