her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
