so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
