didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
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Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
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I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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