You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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