I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
