who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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