If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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